African Insights - December 2001 - Ezine - Newsletter
St. Nicholas day - thoughts in Africa
It was
December 6th, Kigali, Rwanda. Dates, they can have all kinds of
meaning for each one of us, some like
24th or 25th of December, a birthday, an anniversary mean
joy, while others remind of us failures, of losses, of death, divorce, pain and
ache.
I was perusing my day-timer while eating breakfast at the Mille Collines Hotel. The food selection was wonderful as usual; the atmosphere quiet, the temperature just right, I started to smile as I realized it was St. Nicolas day in the country of my youth.
Growing up in Germany, December 6th had always brought mixed emotions to my mind and heart. It was on that day, that during the evening hours Nicholas (Nikolaus) would come and visit my home along with his not so nice helper Knecht Rupprecht. St. Nicholas would be dressed in a stately manner, while his helper (henchman was my thought) would be dressed in brown and carry the switch and chains for the punishment of the misbehaved.
My sister Karin and I would be seated in the living room at the appointed hour of the evening when we could hear the commotion of his approach up the flights of stairs in the noisiest of manner. Intimidating, for a young boy and his even younger sister.
My mother and grandparents were also part of this mixed emotions event and I would glance at their face to check if everything was all right only to receive smiles and sometimes a bit of laughter.
My mother, who enjoyed invoking the names of higher powers, such as God, Jesus, Saint Nicholas and the Easter Bunny, would warn me ahead of time that my number was just about up and Nicholas would come and dole out what was coming to me. After all he had been watching over me and knew my deeds, the good, the bad and the ugly ones, and he would judge my actions and inactions that I had committed over the last year.
Saint Nicholas would sit down in our best chair, flanked by his helper and reach into his deep sack for his book of deeds. From it he would read the accounts of various deeds that I had committed over the year. He would then he look over to me and with his piercing eyes ask me if would be a better boy during the coming year. Of course, I would promise most anything at that moment in time…anything to get me out of the situation I was in. There were times when I had done something really bad like losing my sister at the city park, or blowing up my steam engine by shutting off the safety valve. St. Nicholas’s helper Knecht Rupprecht would then apply the switch of punishment and give me a protoplasmic posterior drubbing. During such occasions St. Nicholas did not give me any treats out of his bag, but my sister Karin always got the treats of candy and some small gifts. She would later munch on her treats while I nursed my wounds.
Years later I discovered that St. Nicholas and his helper were not some semi-divine figures but people who had been hired to put the fear of God into my sister and myself. This had been a German tradition, all in fun but it also left some negative impacts, distortions about spirituality and life in general.
What was distorted you might ask? My view of the nature and character of God. I had a hard time understanding the mercy, the grace, and the loving kindness of God. After all I had been taught that Saint Nicholas was an omniscient, all knowing, omnipresent, omnipotent being. In my spiritual training both in Church and School I learned that God was always there to see if I was doing good and if not….hmmm. My mother and family would reinforce such thoughts by saying, “I am leaving, but do not do this or that…because God is watching and if you do anything wrong you will be punished
I was raised in a pietist Lutheran tradition where the founder of the faith had been a proponent of the Grace of God but somewhere along the journey it was lost. The pastor would preach from a pulpit made of sandstone high above congregation, high above a little boy sitting just below him. He often would speak forcefully, his spittle flying through the air causing me to duck to avoid it. All I ever heard was that God said no to everything and that if you did not obey, well then the God of the giant no, would deal with you. In spite of it I would do things that I was told would take you straight to hell, such as dressing up in costumes for Fasching (carnival or Mardi Gras), I did have to make sure that my grandmother did not catch me at it.
The waiter came back to my table with more coffee and nudged me back to the reality of being not in Germany as young boy, but Kigali, Rwanda, having breakfast in a beautiful garden and a lot had happened since those early boyhood days.
As I went through my duties of the day, driving to various locations in and outside of the city I came across a church that had been a place where hundreds of Tutsis sought refuge only to find death. Many people in Rwanda had abandoned their faith, their belief in a God that is there, protects, cares, reality after all was that thousands were butchered in churches and saw the church, God as something that was not real. (Others have become more fervent in their beliefs)
As I looked around in the church, a soldier came up to me and showed me the various places where people had died, telling me the story of the massacre. I was touched, grieved, troubled. Later that afternoon I sat on the balcony of my hotel; thoughts, images of where I had been that day, all the way from my remembrances of St. Nicholas day to the visit to the church roamed through my head.
I was like many of the residents of Rwanda, who had prayed, who had sought God in their time of trouble only to have safety, faith, life elude them. The real meaning of Christmas, of this advent season had eluded me also. The God of grace was nowhere to be found hidden behind the cultural veils of my youth. God to me like many others raised in a tradition where God is a giant no was as Bette Middler sings “From a distance,” an absent God. In a way I was glad since I did not want God to be near, after all he could be like the Nicholas who visited me years ago on the sixth of December, only to administer punishment and leave without giving me any gifts.
Fortunately the hunger for spiritual things prevailed with me throughout the years. There has always been a ache for that place called home. Like many, one reads self-help books, listens to this tape, or goes and hears this person or another. At the end of the day, to each person who seeks, there comes an inner revelation that there is more to life than mere existence. There comes that advent, the coming of God within, no longer from a distance, but near, close, revealing the nature and character of grace and love. No longer a giant no to life, but the divine yes to each one of us, the permission to live, the empowerment to change, to be and to become.
As I looked out on Kigali from my balcony on December 6th a few years back, I felt in my heart, a renewal of the ancient Christmas hope, peace, no dread, no fear of impending doom, but a thirst for the abundance of life….
Thank you for reading my monthly letters and visiting my website…no matter where you live on this planet, no matter what your belief system is… May be the peace of God touch your heart and mind during this season of the year and all year long….jon
Visit my "Christmas all year long" page
Sign up for the monthly E-zine Newsletter here
Here are some of the past issues available on line
April 2008: The Why's of it all - The needs of the children of Africa
December 2007: Christmas in Africa - 2007
October 2007: The Lights have refused to come on!
September: CHOGM 2007 - The Queen is coming to Uganda
June 2007 - Send a book to an African Child
May 2007 - Omega - A voice that touches the soul
April 2007 - Every Ugandan has a cell phone but...
February 2007: They just keep on coming ... and coming...
January 2007: Impressions on Purpose and Calling in Life
December 2006: It is still not Christmas in
Northern Uganda …sadly so…October 2006: Mabira Rainforest or Sugarcane Plantation?
July 2006: Uganda gifted by Nature?
March 2006: Starbucks watch out! Here comes Café Pap
February 2006: African Reflections 2006
January 2006: Safari - The Journey Begins
September 2005: Born and raised in Africa - Coffee
August 2005: Sacred Spaces, Thought provoking Places
June 2005: Roda Bec - her Journey ends too soon
February 2005: Listening for the Sounds of Africa
January 2005: African Leaders needed – A moment in the life of the President of Uganda
December 2004: My wish for Africa in 2005
November 2004: Our Children - Africa's Orphans
October 2004: Driving in Uganda
September 2004: Keeping Time in Africa
August 2004: Born in the USA and Born in Africa -Where you are born, determines how you live
July 2004: Dead White Man’s Clothing Get a Second Life in Africa
May 2004: Rwanda - 10 years later
April 2004: Food - Western and African Thoughts
March 2004: Meet Owuor from the movie "Nowhere in Africa."
February 2004: The King and the Son of a Slave: King Leopold and William Sheppard
January 2004: Flying in Africa
December 2003: Aids and the Children of Africa
November 2003: Gathering at the Table - Thanksgiving
October 2003: Karen Blixen - Another view of her time in Africa
September 2003: Machetes - Pangas and fair trade with Africa
August 2003: Idi Amin - The little - big Man - thoughts on his life and death
July 2003: In and Out of Africa or How not to visit Africa - The President Bush Visit
June 2003: Africa awaits you! Traveling to Africa in uncertain times
May 2003 Africa and the Western World – a fragile relationship-or- Do Africans Hate Westerners?
April 2003: Pity for Africa versus Compassionate Action for Africa
March 2003: African Bargain Ritual
February 2003: Aids-Africa-Dignity and Hope…Thoughts...
January 2003: Not Yet Uhuru…but it is coming…
December 2002: Christmas - African Style
September 2002: Matatu Ride - A Near Death Experience
August 2002: Miracle - Life Saving Medicine - Soap and Water
July 2002: Culture – Patriarchal Ways and Education of Women
June 2002 Newsletter - Water – Plastic Containers and Women’s Liberation
May 2002 Newsletter - The African Entrepreneurial Spirit is alive and well
April 2002 Out of Africa – Too Newsletter - The WaBenzi Tribe of Africa
March 2002 Newsletter - Africa … Living with death and celebrating life
February 2002 Newsletter - A Hero falls
January 2002 Newsletter - Climbing in Rwanda
November 2001 Issue "I am glad you made it through the night"
October 2001 Issue "Thoughts on being Human"
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Search Out of Africa - Too Site
Last updated: 06 May 2008
Copyright © 1996-2008 by Nutshell Creations. All material on this site is the exclusive property of Nutshell creations . E-mail me for permission to use material on this site.